Musings

I just put Julien to bed for the second time tonight. I love when he falls asleep in my arms. He looks so sweet and innocent.



It is times like these that I think "I could have another one." But then I remember...

* that I haven't had a full night's sleep since he was born. Yes, I can function through the day, but just thinking about sleep without being woken up multiple times is more fantasy than reality. I just read today too that it takes breastfed babies longer to sleep through the night than their bottle-fed counterparts. I forget why tho...yes, short-term memory loss is part of the lack of sleep!
* that I'll probably be 40 (or darn close to it) before Julien's brother or sister comes along. It's been challenging enought with one, I can't imagine taking care of another little one AND Julien. On top of being exhausted all the time all over again, I also have to worry about an increase in problems (for me and the baby) during pregnancy. I had such a good pregnancy with Julien... I would probably be pressing my luck for a repeat.
* the economy is still crap. Guy and I have been lucky in that we both have jobs. Yes, I took a pay cut and it took Guy a bit longer to get hired on this time around than the last time he was searching. Can I bring another child into the world in these uncertain times? Of course, I look around and see pregnant women and women with small children everywhere. It doesn't look like having children has slowed down as the economy has worsened. In fact, I bet the statistics show that it has actually increased. As I seem to recall, there was a baby-boom in MS/LA after Hurricane Katrina. Something to do with not much else to do.....

So for all the reasons I can come up with for not having another one, why do I find myself contemplating it? I've even started looking for a doctor that is pro-VBAC. Just keeping my options open, I suppose. Who knows, maybe we'll just get another dog instead :)